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Frat Bro Enterprises

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From Fratipedia, the unofficially official company encyclopedia

This article concerns a deeply unserious institution.
Frat Bro Enterprises makes apps and games. Its corporate history is fictional. Its commitment to the bit is not.

For the actual products, see Apps & games. For an explanation, we owe you one.

Frat Bro Enterprises (FBE) is an independent apps and games studio dedicated to recreating the college experience—specifically, the parts that did not contribute to the degree.

The studio makes things for people who miss the house, the group chat, and having absolutely nowhere to be until 11 a.m. Its portfolio includes Houseparty, ERS (coming soon), and AIBeer (coming soon), developed under the supervision of the Department of Applied Shenanigans.

FBE operates on the belief that growing up is mandatory, but retiring the bit is a personal choice.[2]

History [link]

The founding incident

According to company legend, FBE was founded at 2:13 a.m. when three roommates identified a gap in the market between “that would be hilarious” and “someone should actually make that.”

Early operations were financed by an unpaid utilities balance, which the founders classified as a friends-and-family round. The first board meeting was adjourned when someone needed the table for pong.

“What if college could last forever?”— Founding thesis, subsequently rejected by everyone’s parents

Following parental objections, the company pivoted to software. This remains its only documented strategic decision.

Apps & games [link]

An expanding portfolio of things we were told were not businesses.

Houseparty

The social division

The house may be gone. The “you coming over?” energy is forever.

Explore Houseparty ↗

ERS Coming soon

The competitive division

For a group of people who insist they’re “not even that competitive.”

Coming soon

AIBeer Coming soon

The research division

Finally, a use for artificial intelligence the alumni board understands.

Coming soon

Organization [link]

The company maintains a robust organizational structure despite having no evidence that anyone is in charge.

DepartmentMandate
Applied ShenanigansDevelops apps and games. Has never successfully booked a conference room.
Office of Risk ManagementOne guy named Brett who says “you’re good.”
Alumni Advisory BoardGraduated seven years ago. Still asks what’s happening this weekend.
The Fraternal ReserveHolds company funds and $46 everyone insists belongs to them.
Standards & ComplianceInvestigates elbows over the table. All other matters remain pending.

Corporate culture [link]

Every FBE product is said to originate from a specific incident that the company refuses to discuss. The September Ranch Dressing Dispute remains under seal. The Tyler Accords are legally nonbinding but socially devastating.[3]

New employees are onboarded by the Eternal Pledge, an intern whose onboarding checklist predates the company. Benefits include flexible hours, a strong sense of belonging, and access to a charger that only works at an angle.

References

  1. Founding group chat. “Wait hear me out.” 2:13 a.m. Date disputed. Screenshots unavailable.
  2. Chad, C.; Chad, C.; and Chad, C. On the Longevity of the Bit. Unpublished. Unreviewed. Unnecessarily long.
  3. Office of Risk Management. “You’re good.” Internal memorandum. All editions.

Talk: Frat Bro Enterprises — excerpts from the fictional editorial record

Disputed founding time

It was 2:13. I have the screenshot.

Chad · Founding editor

Your phone was still on East Coast time. We have been over this.

Other Chad · Editorial oversight

Can whoever has the screenshot also send the utilities money?

Third Chad · The Fraternal Reserve
This page was last edited after everyone said they were going to bed.
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